Johnny Visits Danville!
by ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: (Requested by TheEds Rock.) Lila Test takes her family with her on a business trip to Danville, but when the kids can't stay in the hotel room by themselves, and the Flynn-Fletcher car breaks down, Candace is tasked with babysitting them and Dukey...just as Phineas and Ferb begin their latest project.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Johnny Test_ or _Phineas and Ferb_. All rights go to their respective owners. Also, this was a request by TheEdsRock, so credit goes to them for the main idea.**

* * *

"Here we are, kids: Danville Inn!" Lila Test announced. She had been called to visit Danville to visit Lawrence Fletcher, and his wife, Linda Flynn-Fletcher, to see if their antique shop was worth her business' funding.

Following her outside the car were her husband, Hugh, their three kids, Susan, Mary and Johnny, and their dog, Dukey. (The Test family was sure to pick a pet-friendly inn this time, in order to avoid what happened last time they went on one of Mrs. Test's business trips.)

Johnny looked up to a big sign on a nearby skyscraper that caught his attention:

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORP-ORATED!" the jingle rang.

"I don't even know why you would advertise your evil lair where everyone could see it, but I love the little jingle! So catchy, heh heh." Dukey commented.

"Did Dukey just talk?" Hugh asked.

"No," Johnny responded quickly.

"...Woof!" Dukey added, in hopes of turning away his suspicions.

"Hmm..." he stared at Dukey for a moment, but then simply turned to help carry the bags to their room.

"Phew," Dukey breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

The kids had a separate part of the room from their parents': two double beds, big enough for two of them to share.

"Hm?" Looking up from unpacking his bag, Johnny thought he had seen some kind of bright light flashing outside his window. Pressing himself against the window, his eyes widened at the sight in the sky: a group of five kids were playing some kind of laser tag...with jet packs! "WOAH..." Johnny's mouth dropped open. "That looks SO COOL!" his blue eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Ooh! Lemme see!" Dukey joined him at the window. The lasers they shot weren't real lasers, but the light beams they shot could still tag someone out. One of the kids, a redhead with a triangular face flew beneath the game. It looked like he was trying to reload his gun and get a sneak attack. Looking over, he noticed Johnny and Dukey watching him, the former smiling and waving. Smiling back, he waved too before returning to the game.

Laughing and cheering, Johnny and Dukey spent the next ten minutes or so laughing and cheering as they watched the game. For a little while, Susan and Mary had joined them, passively observing the game with a quiet interest. Soon the group of kids were playing elsewhere out of sight.

"That was AWESOME!"

"Yeah, it's too bad we don't know those kids and who they are."

"But if we did, it'd be really cool to hang out some time."

* * *

First thing after breakfast the next morning, the Tests were on their way to Lila's meeting.

"MOM! We do we have to come with you on your BORING business meeting?!" Johnny complained.

"Because the hotel doesn't allow minors to stay in the rooms unsupervised," Lila answered simply.

"But what about Dukey?" Johnny asked, hugging Dukey close to him. "They don't allow dogs in the building!"

"He can wait in the car with the windows rolled down," Hugh said simply.

"But I don't understand why we couldn't have gotten a dog-sitter, instead," Lila grumbled.

"Do you know how expensive dog sitters are?!" Hugh exclaimed. "Like seven bucks an hour!"

"...That's minimum wage, dear," Lila put her head in her hand.

Mrs. Test's cellphone began to ring.

"Oh, hold on, I need to take this." She picked up. "Hello?"

"_Hello, Mrs. Test, this is Lawrence Fletcher. I'm calling to let you know that me and the Mrs. will be a tad late...car troubles._"

"Oh, really?"

"_Afraid so._"

"Should we call a tow truck for you? Where are you?"

"_Oh, no, I'm still at home. I can't get the darned thing to start. It's still in my driveway._"

"_MOM!_" A harsh female voice made Lila cringe, pulling the phone away from her ear. While she couldn't hear what they were talking about in the background, the owner of the voice sounded very tense.

"Is everything alright over there?"

"_Oh, that's just Candace. She likes to make sure that she's in charge while we're gone._"

Suddenly, an idea came to Mrs. Test. "So you have a daughter? How old is she?"

"_She's fifteen. Definitely old enough to watch her little brothers while we're gone._"

"...How good is she at babysitting other kids?"

Lila chose to ignore the groans from her own three children.

"_As far as I can tell, she's a natural! The kids sound like they have a great time while she's been watching them._"

"Well, in that case, Mr. Fletcher, my husband and I are on our way over; perhaps we could give you two a ride? I just have one teensy, _tiny_ favor to ask in return..."


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Fletcher waved in greeting as the Test car pulled up in front of the yellow house. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Test," he said when the family got out of the car. "We're so glad you could help us out in a pinch."

"Well thank you for having Candace watch our kids in a pinch we've been caught in ourselves."

"Wait, what?!" A ginger-haired teen in a cherry-colored, sleeveless shirt and white skirt stepped out from the fence to the house's front yard.

"Candace, this is Susan, Mary, Johnny, and their dog, Dukey," Mr. Fletcher said as the aforementioned children stepped out of the car. "These were the kids you agreed to watch earlier, remember? I said the Tests had no one to watch over their kids, you said 'yeah, yeah, sure' and then you told Phineas and Ferb you were in charge."

"She was probably too busy asserting her role to Phineas and Ferb again to notice," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled good-naturedly.

"Susan and Mary are thirteen," Mr. Fletcher informed Candace. "If you feel stressed out watching the little ones, you can always ask them for help."

Candace sighed and face-palmed. "Fine. But they better not get involved in whatever hare-brained scheme Phineas and Ferb have planned today..."

"Now kids," Hugh started. "You behave for Candace while we're gone. If you don't, you'll all be in big trouble," he wagged a stern finger. "BIG TROUBLE!" he repeated, being sure to try and get his point across.

"Don't worry, Mr. Test! I'll make sure everything goes as smooth as silk!"

"Atta girl, Candace," Mr. Fletcher got into the car. "We'll be back in time for supper."

The pair of parents said their good-byes, and drove away.

"Babysitting? Really? How lame can that get?" Johnny asked.

"Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to wait in a stuffy office all day," Mary pointed out.

"Hello!" The group turned to a friendly looking girl in a pink and white dress. "I'm Isabella. Are you new to town?"

"No, we're just visiting," Susan answered.

"And they're not going to cause any trouble for me," Candace folded her arms. "Right, guys?"

Depending on the individual, she had gotten a mixed level of agreement in return.

"Okay, but you'll be missing all the fun that goes on in the backyard."

"Isabella! Don't put any ideas into their heads!" Candace scolded.

Ignoring her, Johnny, Mary, and Susan followed Isabella into the backyard anyway. On the other side, there was the triangular-faced boy and another kid with green hair looking over a blue print.

"Hey, Phineas. What'cha doin?"

"Going over our blueprints for today:" Phineas said, looking up at her. "We're making an epic go-kart race!"

"Hey!" Johnny exclaimed. "I remember you: you're that kid from last night with the laser tag and jetpacks! You were awesome!"

"Yeah, and I saw you: you were watching me from the Danville Inn!"

"Could we could join you in this go-kart thing you guys are doing? Races are kind of my specialty."

"Sure! The more the merrier."

"AWESOME!" A guitar riff accompanied that statement in the background. As it went quiet in the background, Johnny looked around, confused. "Hey...where's Dukey?"

"Funny! I was just wondering the same thing about my pet platypus, Perry."

"You have a pet platypus?!" Johnny asked excitedly.

"Yeah. He's cool and we love him, but he _is_ a platypus; they don't do much." Frowning, Phineas added, "except wandering off all the time."

Dukey had been listening to the conversation from the fence, but now he needed to find a good plant to relieve himself by. "Aw man! I _knew_ I should've brought my 'not a dog' disguise."

He had settled on a large shrub, but before he knew it, there was a panel that flipped him into the ground! The upper half of his body was stuck in some kind of tunnel, too big for most of him to fit.

Perry was about to sneak into one of the many entrances to his underground lair...only to find the trapped dog, struggling to get out. Perry bit his lip. What was he going to do? He couldn't risk having his secret agent status exposed! But he hadn't seen this dog before, which made him suspect he wasn't an agent either.

His O.W.C.A. pager beeped impatiently. The longer he waited to figure out what to do with him, the more time his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, would have to wreak havoc on Danville! Perry figured he had no choice but to use the emergency vacuum-suction function on the tube to get him free...even if that meant he would see his lair.

Donning his hat and taking the entrance through a tree in the yard, he hit the button upon coming to his lair. It took the largest setting to pull him through, but soon the dog was freed, and sitting right next to him.

"Woah...thanks," Dukey shook the dizziness from his head. "Hey...where am I?"

Perry's brown eyes went wide. This dog could talk?!

"Oh, no, wait...don't tell me..." he looked around at the white room with all the custom gadgets Perry had made just for him, before his eyes finally settled on Perry's hat. "...Secret animal agent lair?"

Awkwardly, Perry nodded, still trying to get over the shock of a talking dog.

"Hey, don't worry about it, pal: we've all got our secrets, right? Plus, I have some good friends in the government. They and the kids in my family are the only ones who know I can talk, so...how about I make you a deal? I don't tell anyone about your status, and you don't tell anyone I can talk. Would...that be enough to spare me from that memory-wiping thing you guys normally have to do?"

Again, Perry debated: how did he know exactly what he was right away? Was he an enemy spy? But he was unarmed and seemed genuine enough. Nodding and extending his hand, Perry hoped he was making the right decision.

"Phew!" Dukey happily returned the handshake.

The beeping screen warned of an incoming transmission. Cowardly instinct taking over, he ducked beneath the keyboard before he even knew what was going on.

_"There you are, Agent P,"_ Major Monogram greeted him on the screen. _"Sorry, I'm a bit late delivering your mission, I was just talking to an old friend of mine. Anyways, mass-producing toy machines have gone missing from the Danville Toy Factory, and we believe Doofenshmirtz is behind it. Now, normally this is the part where I'd tell you to find out what he's up to, put a stop to it, and wish you luck, but this time, you have another task on your hands...er...paws."_

_"Mind if I do the honors, Major?"_ a loud, rough voice asked off-screen.

_"Not at all. Go ahead, General."_

Major Monogram stepped out of the way to make room for a man wearing a traditional general's outfit and sunglasses.

_"Right then. In addition to your mission, Agent P, there's a dangerous criminal who broke out of our prison and is now on the loose: Wacko Wacko."_ A picture of an eccentric looking man with clown-like blue hair showed up in the picture on the upper right.

_Wacko?_ Dukey thought.

_"Yes, that's really his name, but you can just call him 'Wacko' or 'Mr. Wacko' for short, like we do. Anyways, he'll terrorize just about any child, but we suspect came here all the way to Danville to track three kids: Susan and Mary Test, teen geniuses, and Johnny Test, their younger brother who puts a stop to his evil plans."_

"Ahem," Dukey suddenly stood up. "You forgot me, General."

_"WHAT?! DUKEY?! HOW DID YOU EVEN...oh, never mind. I guess that's not important. I guess Dukey here will help you keep an eye out for him. He's had experience fighting and defeating him. But your main mission is to stop this Dr. Duffle bag-"_

_"Doofenshmirtz"_ Monogram corrected.

_"Stop the Dr. Doofyshmere-"_

_"Doofenshmirtz,"_ Monogram corrected again, slightly more irritated.

_"Whatever, stop the Dr. Dufunshirts-"_

_"Doofenshmirtz,"_ Monogram said, glaring at him. "_Say it with me: Doo-fen-shmirtz._"

Dukey snapped his paw-fingers a few times. "We're getting off-track here, fellas. So stop this 'Doofenshmirtz' guy, and...?"

_"Oh! And be on the lookout for Wacko! I have a feeling he's come here to track down your family, and will do anything to take them out. We're doing all we can to search, but if you boys get the chance to round him up, that would be much appreciated."_

_"Good luck, you two,"_ Major Monogram signed the video off as he and Perry saluted each other.

"So...now what do we do?" Dukey asked.

Without a word, Perry strapped a jetpack to Dukey's back before sliding on one of his own.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me we're gonna-"

Perry opened the side door that led to the outside, and turned on Dukey's jetpack.

"NOO! I HATE FLYINNNG!" the mutt cried.

Rolling his eyes, Perry followed close behind. He had a feeling getting to Doofenshmirtz's lair was going to take longer than usual.


	3. Chapter 3

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, the kids decided to start by building their karts.

"Almost done," Phineas stated to no one in particular. "I've just gotta get the wheels on. Whoops!" The tire had accidentally slipped out of Phineas' hands and began to roll across the yard.

"Hang on! I got it!" Mary ran after the wheel, caught it, and brought it back to Phineas.

"Thanks."

When Phineas took the wheel back from her, his hand accidentally brushed against hers. Mary hardly noticed...but that detail was glaringly obvious to Isabella. Who did this girl think she was?! Flirting with _her_ Phineas?! On the inside, a flame of anger had ignited, but the only outward signs she showed was a twitching eye.

"I could use a bit of help as well," Baljeet spoke up. "I find building these things physically taxing."

"I'll take some help too...mostly cause I'm too lazy to do it myself," Buford admitted honestly, but not apologetically.

"How about you, Isabella?" Mary offered.

The usually cheery girl's face turned dark. "No thank you, I've got it," she had just barely managed to keep her polite tone.

"Alright, suit yourself."

If eyes could burn, Isabella's would have already burnt two in the back of Mary's lab coat.

* * *

*DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC-ORPORA-TED (...again...)*

"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAH!"

CRASH!

Even with all of the broken glass on the floor, Dukey marveled that he wasn't hurt...and that he finally managed to turn his jetpack off.

"Oh, darn you, Perry the Platypus!" a hunchbacked middle aged man in a lab coat cried. Turning from his invention, he continued, "I just had that window fi-" Soon he realized he wasn't talking to the platypus.

Dukey smiled nervously and gave a wave.

"Huh? _You_ are not Perry the Platypus!"

_(KNOCK KNOCK.)_

"Come in!" the man called.

The doorknob briefly jiggled before the next response from the other side of the door:

_(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.)_

"I said it was open!"

Insistently, the door knob was jiggled harder.

"Huh...that's odd, I could have sworn," inspecting the handle more closely, his blue eyes widened and he let out a laugh. "Oh, so it is locked after all! Haha, my bad."

Unlocking the door and opening it, Perry summersaulted through the air just past the doormat, getting in combat position.

*PER-RY!* the jazzy background jingle sounded.

Unfortunately, before the platypus could do anything to the mad doctor, the human swiftly pulled a remote from his pocket, and pressed a red button. A thick white cord came down from the ceiling, and wrapped around Perry's ankles, making him unable to stand! Dukey, unsure how to react, soon found himself trapped beneath a cage half his size.

"HA! Got you again, Perry the Platypus! And don't even think about using your ankle barbs to cut yourself free! Cause, yeah, that's the whole point of that little trap right there. And uh, Perry the Platypus' friend," he continued, turning to Dukey. "I know that cage is incredibly small but...it's really meant more for platypuses than it is for large dogs."

"Yeah, you could say that again," Dukey just barely managed to place his head in his paw.

"WhhhhhhaaaaaaAAAAAAAT?! THIS DOG CAN TALK!" the doctor gaped, open-mouthed, first at Perry, then at Dukey. "This dog can _TALK!"_ he repeated, laughing. Thinking for a moment, he looked at Perry suspiciously. "Can you talk too?"

Perry shook his head.

"If he's an O.W.C.A. agent that can talk, I bet you've been holding out on me this whole time!"

Perry shook his head again, this time more insistently. If he could talk...he would have said all kinds of things Doofenshmirtz wouldn't have been happy to hear about himself.

* * *

A blue haired man rushed into an alleyway, just managing to avoid a cop car coming by.

"Phew! FINALLY! It took one heck of a hike, but I've finally made it to Danville! Temporary vacation place of Johnny Test!" he proudly held up his Johnny-tracker in the air. "Now all I need are some weapons, and nothing will stop me! But now the question is...where can I find some?"

Thinking for a moment, suddenly he noticed the sign of the building above him:

* * *

*DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC-ORPORA-TED (...once again...)*

"AHA! Perfect! Surely these suckers will have something that will help me!"

*MEANWHILE BACK IN THE BUIL-DING!*

"And now, Perry the Platypus! Behold, my latest invention:" Doofehshmirtz pulled off the tarp to a large, factory machine, "the Merchandice-inator! You see, Perry the Platypus, I've been doing some thinking and I realize I've been going at my schemes all wrong: when I set out to take over the Tri-State Area, I've been focusing on controlling the adults, who are too old for change, and already settled in their ways. What I should have been focusing on is the future of Danville: the children! Kids like action figures, right? Then say 'hello' to the soon-to-be newest hit in Danville:" pulling lever, a line of Doofenshmirtz dolls began to roll out from the conveyer belt on the other side. Picking one up, he pressed a button on the back.

_"It's me! Dr. Doofenshmirtz! Your best friend and ruler of the TRI-STATE-AREA!"_ the little toy said in a high-pitched voice.

"Ehhh…" Dukey cringed, clearly disturbed. (But, really, who could blame him?)

"Once these toys become a hit with the kiddies, they'll learn to love me, and then they'll help me take over the entire _TRI-STATE-AREA!_ And no one, not the police, not the military, not even O.W.C.A. will stop us! Because, really, what sicko would harm an innocent child?"

* * *

Right about when the kids were customizing their karts, Susan suddenly realized something: "oh no! We forgot the spray paint!"

"We keep some spares in the garage," Phineas said.

"Great! Mind showing me where they are?"

Isabella's eyes widened. It was bad enough one of the twins had already threatened to steal Phineas' heart away: she didn't need to deal with the other one doubling that threat! "Maybe _Ferb_ can show you where they are," she blurted.

Confused, Ferb looked up from putting a green skull detail on the side of his kart, but shrugged and nodded.

"Uh...okay, thanks."

"I'm telling you, Stacy, this one is the one! This is where Phineas and Ferb are finally going to get busted!" Ferb and Susan heard Candace's voice from the other side of the garage door.

"Sheesh, what a loud mouth. Must be really annoying having a sister that loud, huh?" she asked Ferb, ignoring the irony of her comment.

Not answering, Ferb grabbed armfuls of spray cans before they headed back through the door.

"Yeah I KNOW they've built a bunch of stuff around town before! Why is this one different? Because, because I just _know_, okay?! They're going to be busted! Busted, busted, BUSTED!"

Ferb waddled out the opened back door, but Susan stayed behind, staring at Candace, sprawled on the couch.

Their eyes meeting, the older redhead glared at her. "Yeah, hold on, Stacy," she put her cellphone to her chest. "May I help you?" she asked, glaring at Susan.

"Just kind of curious to know what this whole 'busting' thing is about. You seem awfully bent on it."

Susan couldn't hear what they were saying, but the person on the other line seemed to be asking a question.

"Yeah, hold on, Stacy, I'll have to call you back." Hanging up, she continued, "you're DARN RIGHT I'm bent on it!" Candace snapped, getting up. "It's exactly what you'd think it is: getting mom to finally believe me about all this crazy stuff Phineas and Ferb do!"

"Wait, you mean, your parents _don't_ know about this?" Susan asked, surprised. "It'd be so easy to notice something like a go-kart race through town!"

"Well, yeah, you'd _think_, right? I don't even know how it happens but every single day of this summer, they've done something like building giant robots, or some other weird invention that somehow magically disappears by the time my mom comes home, no matter how fast I get her here!"

"And so what if she does?" Susan questioned.

"She. Would. Flip," Candace answered, eyes wide. "And not the good kind! I'm worried one of these days, they're going to get build or do something that will end up killing themselves, and I know she'd be too!"

"Hm..." Susan processed what Candace was telling her. It made sense, but even with all of the things she's seen in her own hometown of Porkbelly, and everything her brother managed to survive, she found it hard to believe that these kids were in more danger than he was.

Candace cast a cross glance as her cellphone began to vibrate again. "Stacy, I thought I said I'd call you-"

A voice, a deeper one than the last one, answered.

"Oh, hi, Jeremy!" she chirped, her face and body becoming perkier.

The voice's tone became inquiring.

"No, this isn't a bad time, it's all good."

"Uh, _hello?!_" Susan threw her arms up in exasperation.

"Oh, no, sorry, I haven't seen your guitar...did you check Suzy's room? You know how little siblings are...mm-hm. Oh wait, it was just in the corner of your closet?" Candace laughed. "Well, okay, glad you still have it. You are such a good guitar player. ."

Susan sighed and face-palmed. Why she was still standing here was beyond her, so she decided to join the other kids in the backyard.

"Hm? Oh no, no worries. You didn't bother me at all. Always happy to get a call from my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Looking back, Susan's interest suddenly peaked.

"'Kay, I have to go back to watching and busting the kids now. Aw, love you too," she giggled. "Bye!" Hanging up she sighed. "Oh, Jeremy," she sighed to no one in particular.

"Wait," Susan said, walking back over to Candace, "so this 'Jeremy' guy that just called you is your boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, you see," Susan tapped her fingers, her cheeks turning pink. "Back in Porkbelly, there's this boy I like..." her face turned a deeper shade upon uttering his name: "...Gil...Nexdor...but he doesn't even _notice_ me! I was just thinking, since you have a boyfriend, you could give me some tips on how I could get his attention or ask him out."

"Hmm...tell you what, kid, I'll make you a deal: you help me bust Phineas and Ferb, and I'll tell you everything I know about boys and how to win them over."

"Deal!" Susan squealed.


	4. Chapter 4

After all day of building and painting their karts, the kids' karts were finally ready! The kids had gotten ready at the starting line in the front of the Flynn-Fletcher house.

Susan paced back and forth. She had to figure out how to get everyone out of the race so Candace could bust them! Normally, she'd bounce her ideas off of Mary, but she seemed just as excited as they did. Besides, if Mary didn't know any of Candace's boy-charming secrets, it would increase Susan's chances of winning Gil over more than her! But being quiet and keeping her thoughts to herself was not one of her strong suits...the best she could do was mutter her ideas aloud, and then quickly decide if they seemed reasonable or not.

"First one to make three laps around the course we had our brobots build wins," Phineas explained. "There's also these rainbow cubes we made that have their own power-ups in them, and they've been spread around the course. You can use them to make your way to first place, or _keep_ yourself in first place! Any questions?"

"So, what do we get if we win?" Johnny asked excitedly.

"Nothing, unless maybe just the satisfaction of winning, but mostly, we're just racing to have fun," Phineas answered.

"Oh," Johnny said, a little disappointed. "Kinda lame, but, whatever. LET'S RACE!"

Ginger, one of Isabella's fellow Fireside Girls, stood next to the finish line, acting as the flag girl. "Ladies and gentlemen!" she called through a megaphone. "Start your engines!"

The satisfying roar of the engines ripped through the air.

"Three...two...one...GO!"

And they were off!

Johnny was fortunate to get a head start in front of everyone else. Turning at the edge of the street, he hit the rainbow cube, and gained some oil to spill. "Cool!"

Pouring it behind him, Mary's tires hit it, and she spun around, the others speeding past her.

"Oh no you don't!" driving into a rainbow cube, Mary had gotten a safety bullet. It looked like a soft plastic that wouldn't hurt anyone if it hit them. Launching it, she got a perfect shot at Isabella's tires.

It was then that Isabella realized that Mary was right behind Phineas! Scowling, Isabella pressed the pedal to the metal and rode right behind her.

Mary jumped as Isabella hit her bumper. Turning the bend, she hit a rainbow cube and used a force field to protect herself against Isabella's safety bullets.

"Darn it!" Isabella exclaimed. Luckily, to her relief, Mary sped ahead right around Phineas and got ahead of Ferb. _Yeah, you better drive away, man-stealer_! she thought. She hadn't particularly cared about winning, so she decided she would stay near Phineas...just to be safe.

* * *

"And now, Perry the Platypus...and whoever the new guy is, PREPARE FOR-"

_(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.)_

"What the-? Now who could that be?" Doofenshmirtz asked no one in particular. "Excuse me one second, Perry the Platypus."

Perry rolled his eyes. But now that Doofenshmirtz was distracted, Perry figured was a good time to try and untie his ankles.

On the other side of the door was Wacko, his forehead beaded with sweat. "Is..." he huffed, panting, "...is this Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated?"

"You saw the sign?" Doofenshmirtz asked, surprised.

"Yes. And I asked everyone else in the building what it was, but no one else had any idea what I was talking about."

"In all the years that I've lived here, no one's asked me about the sign."

"So this is Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated?" Wacko asked, somewhat agitated from his long search.

"Oh, yes, of course! You look like a man of great _evil_; come in!" Doofenshmirtz stepped aside, letting him enter the penthouse. "My name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. What can I help you with?"

Wacko just stared at him for a moment.

"...What?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Is there something in my teeth?"

"No, it's just...I didn't really expect a pharmacist to be running a corporation dedicated to evil."

Doofenshmirtz frowned, looking down at his outfit. "Why does everyone think I'm a pharmacist?!"

Clank! _Clatter!_

That definitely was not Perry's most graceful breaking of a trap (and therefore, losing the element of surprise), but at least he had successfully freed both himself, and Dukey.

"Phew," Dukey breathed out, finally free from the tightly restraining cage. "Thanks for that."

"DUKEY?!" Wacko's jaw dropped. "What are you doing here?!"

Before Doofenshmirtz could even get a word out, Perry delivered a kick to the mad doctor's head, knocking him to the floor.

"Should I do something, or...?"

Perry randomly picked a ray off of his tool belt and threw it in Dukey's direction, the mutt fumbling to catch it before it rested in his paw.

"Huh, okay, what does this do-?"

"GAH! HEY!" Wacko cried out in protest as a cage his size formed around him in an instant.

"Were you...planning to make a cage big enough for a human?" Dukey asked Perry.

Sheepishly, the platypus rubbed the back of his head. His face falling serious again, he shifted his attention to the Merchandise-inator and hit the convenient self-destruct button right in the middle of the control panel.

"Look out! That thing's gonna blow!" Dukey cried.

Rushing back up to him as he attached the straps of his jetpack back on him, he grabbed Dukey and flew out of the window they crashed through, just as they could feel the heat of the blast behind him.

This would be right about where Doofenshmirtz would cry "curse you, Perry the Platypus!" but Perry couldn't hear anything over Dukey's terrified screams.

* * *

"Right, erm…" Doofenshmirtz wiped his face with a handkerchief he kept in his lab coat pocket. "Sorry 'bout that. My nemesis chose the _worst_ time to thwart me!"

"Does that happen often?" Wacko asked.

"Oh yeah, almost daily."

"I bet that's _frustrating_! _Constantly_ defeated by the one you hate the most...say, what was your eevil plot again?"

"Well, that-" Doofehshmirtz motioned to what was left of the inator, "-was the Merchandice-inator. I was just basically going to make action figures for the kids, so that they love 'em and become an army for me. I could have given you the whole 'evil monologue' thing, but Perry the Platypus has a knack for killing the mood."

"I see...I think you've got a solid plan there, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I just think it needs something a little...extra."

"Like what?"

"That's where _my_ services come in. We could get you all the kids you could need in your army, and _more!_"

"Yes...yes! Then I could finally take over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!" Doofenshmirtz threw his arms into the air as the usual dramatic evil fanfare played in the background. "Oh, hey, look at that, the mood's back! Wait, what's the catch?"

"What catch?"

"You know, usually when villains team up there's some kind of catch."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Let's just get started on this brilliant scheme, making it bigger, and better than ever! With my help, John-er, that platypus won't even know what hit them..."

Wacko began to laugh maniacally, followed by Doofenshmirtz joining him.

"...So...uh..." Wacko said when they were done. "...Think you could get me outta here?"


End file.
